Disaster follows me like that stupid spasticated Hutch dog you're used to seeing in that ad...follows me wherever I go..
I tried telling Disaster..."Dude !! Changes are good..Hutch turned into Vodafone...and now U shud turn away from me..."
But man ! Disaster loves me more than my mother does !!
Here's another one...Day before yesterday..
I had gone out with Tanny(Tanny's permitted me to write her name )...was sooo much fun...
Visited mah favorite place Aura afta almost a month...
Got a bit late while returning,so I drove Tanny back to her uncle's place(thats where she's presently stayin')...We were sittin' outside the house in mah car and talkin' bout sum random stuff...She kept on telling me to come inside and sit in the garden..but I kept on refusing cuz I liked it in mah car,talkin and listening to songs...and was in no mood to stay for very long...But I Wish I had listened to her....
5 minutes of talkin...A cop parked his bike in front and told me to get off...
Here's the convo...I'll convert that to english (was in reeeeeal abusive hindi)...
Cop:License..
I showed him my license...nd I realised he was badly drunk...
Cop:Come on with me..
Me:Sir,whats the problem,ain't this fine ?
Cop:Dude,what're u doing with a gal in your car at 1.30 at night ?
Me:We were out wid Friends...This is her house,I came to drop her,was just talking...
Cop:You want me to believe this shit of ures ?
Me:U got any proof of what I was doin ? did u see me do anything wrong ?
Tanny got out of the car..
Tanny:Any problems ?
Me:U go inside the house...I'll get over with him nd giv u a call...
Cop:(To Tanny)Come here..
Me:Don't bring her into this...Please...I guess its better if we talk it over..keep her out of this for the time being...
Cop:Until I finish with you,she's not goin anywhere...
Me(to Tanny):Get into the car then...
I signaled her to call up her uncle or someone...
She thought I was telling her that if she stays out of the car,her uncle might
listen to her voice and come outside,and create more problems...So she quitly sat inside...(Duh,Tanny !!)
Cop:Dude,Am not her to see u guys screwing around...I'll call up ur house,her house,charge u up for misconduct in a public place...You'll be screwed,I'll see who saves you from me !!
Me:Sir,U cant do this..I hav not done anything wrong...
The cop kept on pulling his jacket,giving me view of his gun...
(U can imagine ma situation..)..
Cop:First tell the girl to come out...
Me:Why do you want to talk to her....??..
Cop:Dude,You are coming with me to the Police station..
Me:For What ? I haven't even done anything,sir!
Cop:You were making out with a girl in a public place..When a cop stopped you,You abused him,and when warned not to, you pushed him..a cop on duty !
Me:Whaaaaatttttt ??? I pushed you ?? abused you ?? When did I ?? I'm calling you Sir,giving you so much respect,and you're saying I abused you !!
Cop:You got any proof that you didn't ..??
I can get 20 people who will say you did !
The only way Out that I saw at that time was by bribing him...
Me:Sir please,what do you want from me,please settle things here and leave,please !
Cop:1500 bucks..
Me:I dont have 1500 bucks..I'll call up sum frnd and ask him to bring it..(I thought I'll call up mah dad..)
Cop:Dude,your hand goes towards your phone and you are history...
Me:Sir thats the only way I can help you..
Cop:How much cash do you have on you?
Me:500 bucks I guess..
Cop:Dude...you makin out in a honda with just 500 bux on you ?
Me:Sir,I was out with friends,and finished all mah money there..
Cop:Then you must be drunk too...
(His TOO made me feel like laughin..was he pointing at himself...TOO..?)
(But I understood he was adding that to the list of things he was blackmailing me for !!)
Me:Sir please,500 bucks..
Cop:Then I'll take away the charge of abusing...I'll say you were screwing and you pushed me,while I was on duty...lemme call up the Patrol jeep to take you...
The word CHARGE against me made me feel like Sanjay Dutt(who ofcourse is quite a frequent visitor of jail cuzza the bomb blast thing)
Me:Sir please,You know I never did any wrong..I'm just a kid..you can't do this to me !!
Cop:Kay,500 bucks..and you leave before I do...
I put ma hand in ma pocket..and out came a 1000 buck bill...I was like..Duh !!this was the last thing I expected to happen...I couldn't even ask him for change for 500 bucks...
Cop:You *@*#*%*^$ !!! Is this 500 bucks..??
Me:Oh sorry..I thought I had just 500...
Cop:I think you do need a dose
Me:Please!anyways you're getting a 1000 instead of 500..thats better for you,isn't it??
Cop:I'll take this,and leave you this time..But always remember me before you screw in a car..
I was like..of corse you spasticated moron !! How can I ever forget you..!!
I sat back in the car,apologised for what happened..Tanny knew it wasnt mah fault at all..We both were feeling bad about what happened..I told her to get inside before anything else happens..she smiled nd said.."I can never forget this..
was fun,inspite of all what happened.."
I can never forget that smile of hers...The cute dimples..shimmering eyes...
I said..."yea,your smile has made it worth remembering..."..
Damn...a policeman almost killed me just 5 minutes back..and I was there talkin to her about her smile..how fricken lame of me !!
anyways,if that smile's what I get in return,I'm glad it all happened..!!
Tanny giggled and said.."Yea right..Gud night nd take care...Bye !!"
I started off,on the way crossed a police check-post..where they were luckily just stopping trucks..extracting money from the poor chaps,ofcorse...!!
Seeing this I again abused the police...Fricken Corrupt Straydog molesters..wickedly grotesque lout and feculent, thick-headed ocular depravity to all discrimination !!!!(man..I just realised how innovative I am !!)
But mah anger and frustration turned to laughter when I read this line at the back of a police van parked there..
'DELHI POLICE.FOR YOU,WITH YOU,ALWAYS !'
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20 comments:
Fuckkkk!!I wish he had shot you,lolies.but was seriously fun,I kept on thinking,agar ise hindi movie style shoot kar diya,then mai badla lu ki nai,lu to abhi lu ki bade hone ke baad.khi khi..
You forgot to write what were you talking about...benchod raat ko ek baje baat kar rha hai"Gulneet ka kya karu.."..dekh liya kamine wo kitni unlucky hai tere liye !
manaa karde..!!
Thankyou for the cute smile part,lolies,u r such a sweetheart.
and ya,you shouldn't have abused and pushed the cop,becos delhi police is for you and with you,remember!
yea right..Gulneet..the unlucky gal..mana kar dia !!
and agar wo shoot kardeta muje den tumara kya hota ?
Haawww,mana kar diya ?You aer such a big dog.kya samajta hai apne bare mein?you broke the poor girl's heart!
and shoot kar diya hota then kya,i would have found someone else to go to aura with me.
Me dog?Afta all u said bout her,I cuddan hav agreed...
Neways thats a stupid discussion...ab to mana kar chuka..
And try goin to Aura wid sum1 else...ek baar pleez...Go wid your Himesh Reshamiya..haha...no Arjun se hi bol...dekho leke jata hai ki nai..miser !!
i keep on telling u to take me to aura or aqua..muje to nai leke jata!tanny ko har dusre din!
i disown u as ma adopted boyfriend!
@divij-he's the biggest kanjoos makhichoos in the whole world,kabi nai leke jayega,and u talk about that himesh reshamiya n u r dead.
n u think ki i cant go wid sum1 else?lets see
@arpita-cuz best frnz r more important than ADOPTED girlfriends!
Nd I am his best friend,so I matter more to him,,right divij?
no u r wrong.We know the bond we share,u dont,therefore u think u are his best friend,ek baar usse pooch le
Ha,thats yer misconception.
He is.Ma bestestestestestest frnd.
Ask him.U r just adopted.Adopt to wo har roz kisi ko karta hai,mujse pooch,i know evrything about him,only me
I cant really express ma feelings abhi..
2 hot chix fighting over Me...hahahahahaha...I neva expected sumthin like this...but its a nice feeling..
:)
Shutup moron!we're not fiting!
ooooohhhhhhhhh....
U kold me hot chik??(yayyy!! I knew u wud,I luv u >>>hehehehehe)
Muwah!!
So now I win na?
Ya,we're not fightin.
Nd Tanny U biatch,he's calling us hot chiks,not uuuu a hot chica!
lol..and yea divij,we're not fitin.
Cant we stop discussin shit here nd have a yahoo conference?Bechare ka comment page kharab ho raha hai.
@Arpita-U biatch,not me.
@Divij-We are not fytyn
Kharab to tere comments se ho raha hai,mere se nai.Ya,confrnce is better.No more publicising our abusing..
omg!! compared to your blog... mine is like nothin dude!!!!
ur a freakin good writer.. m sure u wont mind if i link ur blog on mine.. ryt??
I lyk d way u wyte it up man,
Tanya told me the way the guy talked,super abusive and that accent..and you've converted it as if you were talkin to a
Yankee-cop...And its so interesting and entertaining,I am more than impressed wid yer wytin skillz.!!
hey dude...ur an osm writer..i mean..wonderful..n i won't mind nuts if u link my bog wid urs..n thanx 4 asking!!
dis one is really cute...hmmm ...interesting blog....Good Work!
Thnx for ur comment...!
Nah....why wud I mind???? link it...K...and keep up the gud wrk!
Maan.....ur discription about ur encounter with that thula was really funny. SAALE ke kanpur me kaas kar raapt marna tha! bye the way u played safe game...
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