Jingle all the way..!!

Santa Claus...
Mah earliest references....
A video of mine(as a 2 year ol' kid) runnin away frm the santa at meridien...hidin' cuz he waz laughin so loudly...and i waz howlin at his sight...!!

a cuppula years later...i learnt that santa givz out gifts...Gifts..I lurved Gifts !!
So i loved santa...and got gifts evry year...!!

10 years later...i gotta know if i put up a list wid ma stockingz i'll get
wateva i write...
that year i wrote chocolates ( how damn lame.)...
I got chocolates...

next year i wrote a video game...i got that...

next year i wrote a cool mobike,an underground basketball court,a mercedes slr,the power to becum invisible,avril lavigne as ma girlfriend,a fleet of space-ships...
and santa took away even the stocking !!!!

two years i kept hangin ma socks with the same list...and wenever i woke up next mornin, the stockin was gone...(I guess ma dog cud be behind runnin away with the stocking..)..

This year,twas sumfin different...
Mah cuzin Peezee was havin a christmas party fr her kid brother...
told me to get a santa frm sumwer...I kept on thinkin where to get a Santa from..I thot up of the party...Peezee's supa hawt friends...and decided..I'll try ma hand at bein Santa..!!
Peezee kept on refuzin,she probably guessed it wud be disastrous....but I insisted on being santa...I had always hated kids..and I wanted to change..I wanted to be good to kids..and what better than Santa...and she finally agreed..

So Peezee and I went out to get sum stuff for the goodie bag...I wanted to be the coolest santa around...so got sum really cool books,snickers,color changin glitter pens,hot wheels,make ur own jewellery kits,lego sets,yo-yos...evrythin I wanted to get frm Santa at parties as a kid...nd all the retarded Santaz had were sweets or pencils or a tennis ball for a change !!
As far as the Santa clothes were concerned..Peezee told me she had a Santa attire thing...

The party...10 minutes before the party...I saw the freakin second hand santa claus uniform...urghhh...dry cleaning made it look almost like pink...
lookin at that thing,I changed ma mind...I'll not wear second hand thingz...
But she insisted i get that on,it had been worn juz once,that too by her friend,and had been dry cleaned afta that...
20 minutes of persuassion...and a deal that that she'll arrange a cool date wid one of her friend..
I agreed...(see,i can't really say no to people,am a nice guy from inside..)..

An hour into the party...I got into that retarded thing on top of the clothes i was wearing..and the santa mask...
entered the garden...
and wham..!!...50 three footed monsters were running towards me...
I never guessed sumfin like this wud happen...kids pulling me from every side...
I pushed 'em away ran away inside and locked maself...
Peezee came in agenn and askd me to go out,or her party was ruined...
I remembered the date,and walked out...
Agenn mobbed...I felt like a rockstar wid people screamin for me everywher...

I started off wid throwin off choclates....which got most of the kids away...
Except Mr.Chintamani..thats what I called him...was a small li'll kid with that irritatingly innocent look on his face...and a huge round harry potter style spectacles to go wid it...he looked as if he cuddav cleared the IIT entrance exam at 3 years of age...
Mr.Chintamani:Are you a female santa?
Me:Do i sound like one?
Mr. Chintamani:Den why are you wearing a pink santa dress ?
Me:Dude..Pink's the new black..Metrosexual men love pink..blacks are passe'..pinks are in !!
Mr. Chintamani:But Santa duzan wear black..he wears red..
Me:I'll get bak to u..juzta sec..

A small devil was hitting me frm behind..I gav him chocolates,he threw em and kept on punching..I was like..dude,take this lego set and be happy...He threw that and continued with his boxing...I was like.."why're you doin this..??"
He said..."cuz u didnt giv me a puppy last year !!.."
A PUPPY !! oh yaa..."I'll giv it to u tonite wen I climb ur chimney..."
But he said he had no chimney in his home...
and continued hitting me for 20 minutes...till i picked him up,swayed him around and shouted HA HA HA (in the mostest scary way I ever could..)..
Mr chintamani came up..."Santa duzzan do Ha Ha Ha..he does HO HO HO"..
I looked at him and shouted out.."HO HO HO !!!" (in no ways did that seem like I was laughing.!!....he said.."oh,so you're a dinosaur Santa ??"
I was almost in tears..."HO HO HOOOOO...Please dude..lemme go..!!"
I ran for ma life....

I noticed this super hawt chic(must be one of Peezee's friend..),And wnt to her to wish her a merry christmas..gave her snickers...and bak to kids..then went bak to her and gav her another snickers...then to one of the kids, and back to her...I gave her a make your own jewellery kit...
and Mr.chintamani came up..."How did u become so thin?"
"Dude...I told you I'm a meterosexual Santa...I am on diet..!!"
"Oh,but I saw you at the hotel last night,you were fat then..how did you become so thin in a day?"
"Dude..wait..that kid is crying..I'll get back to you..Two minutes.."
I ran frm ther agenn..I wanted ma parents to meet that kid...they always thought I was the most irritatig kid ever..!!

Got bakk to the hawt chic nd gave her the whole thing of snickers...
Peezee:"Divij !! you're here for the kids,not for the girls..!!"
Me.."yaa..I kno...I thot she's a kid.."..
I got bak to the bunch of devils and distributed sum more...and agenn that dude started beating me fr not giving him a puppy...Had to bear wid him...
Thn the pikcha session started...first the retarded kids,then the chics...
I felt the importance of being Divij...I alwayz knew I'd be famous...
and yesterday was the day..!!
I was getting pikchas clikked,when in came Mr. Chintamani for his pikcha wid me..
I tried to hide ma face...but he recognised me due to the pink retarded santa dress thing.."You still didnt tell me how you became so thin.."..
"Dude..I lived with a kid like you for 3 hours..he asked me so many questions that I lost all ma energy in answering the questions and therefore became thin.."
Mr Chintamani:But ma daddy is still fat...
Me:Does he answer all your questions?
Mr Chintamani:No..
Me:I know...I pity him...he doesnt answer your questions,thats why he's fat...
Mr.Chintamani:Then why..
I cut his sentence and told him to go,I had to get clicked with many more people...
I went back to Peezee's hot friend...and gave her a lego set..that was the only thing left with me...
The hot chic had most of the gifts I bought...and half the kids were hitting me cuz I didnt giv them a gift !!
she said"What'll I do with a lego set.??"..
Oh sorry..wait a minute...I saw a kid sitting on a chair,facing the opposite direction..he had a set of glitter pens on the chair next to him...
I slowly get behind and was juz about to run away with the glitter pens,when the child turned....Gawd !! It was Mr.Chintamani !!
"Are you giving ma gift to sum1 else ?"
"No...I'm exchanging yours with a lego set.."
"But I cant write with a lego set.."
"Ya right..keep the pens..!!"

Finally I came across the kid who wanted a puppy....I told him I'll giv him a puppy that night,but In return I'll hav to take away his snickers...
He agreed..and I took the snickers to the hot chic...
She looked at me...and was like.."I think with the amount of snickers you've given me..I can spend ma life livin on em.."..
"I like spreading sweetness around..."
"DIVIJ !!!!"..that was Peezee agen.."I told u stay with the kids..."
"See Peezee,Santa is JUST..non partial..he see's everyone as god's kids...i'm a kid..u're a kid..she's a kid...so i was with a kid..!!"...
Peezee:I knew you could never be a good santa...
Me: ha..!!..ask her...
The hot chic:Ya he's the best santa I've cum across...heehee..
Me:See...
Peezee:okay whateva...you're good with girls,not with kids..anywayz.get all the kidz here..we're about to cut the yule log...and goodie time..!!
I went ta call the kids...
Mr. Chintamani:Why do we call the cake a yule log?"
mE:Cuz its in the shape of a log...
Mr.Chintamani:I wanted to ask you one question...can I ?
(((I waz thinkin..One question ??????? You've asked me a 100 frikken questions,and asking fr permission to ask one more question..???)))
Me:Will you stop if I say no?
Mr Chintamani:ya i will..
Me:Awww,ure a nice kid...ask..
Mr.Chintamani:Why do we celebrate christmas ?
Me:Cuz its Santa Claus' b'day...
Mr.Chintamani:No,its Jesus Christ's birthday...
Me:Oh ya,I was juz testing your Gk..You're an intelligent boy..now go hav the yule log..
Mr.Chintamani:Why do we call it a Yule Log?Its juz a cake..
Me:Dude...hav it agenn..fill ur mouth with it till the point you cant speak anything...stay that way with yule stuffed in your mouth till 3 hours..you'll know...!!

I agenn went and stood beside the hot chic..."you like Yule stuff ??"
HC:I prefer the rum cake..plum cake i mean,but with rum..
Me:Oh ya..I luv plum cake too...so watre ur Xmas planz ?
HC:I really donno..
Me:Kay..Ice cream with Santa Claus ?
HC:Not christmas...a couple of days later,maybe..Pink Santa !!
Me:Pink,yea..thats style..innovation...rise up to mah level,you'll know..
HC:Okay wateva..how do we go? do you drive ?
Me:Yea..I do..
HC:So we'll fix up sumfin over the phone..
Mr.Chintamani(popping in between):but you hav a sledge no?
HC:(laughs loudly)
Me:Yea...yea..I drive it..was talkin about that only..
Mr Chintamani:So where is your sledge ?
Me:I left it back..
Mr Chintamani:Why?
Me:Cuz I ran outta fuel..
Mr.Chintamani:So how did u cum here?
Me:Took a lift...
HC:How can you answer all his stuff ?
Me:I love kids...I love talkin to kids..even i was a kid once..therefore am answerin him..
HC:You're sweet..
Me:Oh thanku...no one's ever told me that before..!!..By the way..I'm answerin him only cuz I wanta be a good Santa !!
HC:(Laughs Loudly)..okay,but Am sure people have told you you're really fun to talk to...
Me:Maybe,but their saying that doesnt really matter as much as yours does...
HC:Ahann..
Me:Yea,seriously..!!
Mr.Chintamani:How does your sledge fly?
Me:Dude,if i tie you to 8 flying reindeer,won't you fly?
Mr.Chintamani:Yes I would...
HC:Thats the best reazun I'v heard...
Mr.Chintamani:So does Mrs.Santa Claus also fly on the sledge?
Me:Dude..what on earth do u want from me?
Mr Chintamani:A hummer..or a ferrari...
Me:Dude...had I got a hummer or a ferrari.....why the fricken hell wud i be flyin around in that retarded sledge pulled by reindeer ??
Mr.Chintamani:I'm sorry Mr.Santa...
Me:Oh thats alrite...can u excuse me pleez ?I need to go...
Mr.Chintamani:Yes ofcorse Mr.Santa...
Me(to HC):You wannna stay here and answer his questions..??
HC:(laughing)..no no,am not that patient..
me:am dead...I cant stay in this thing anymore..
I removed the santa mask...

Mr.Chintamani:Oh,you're a fake Santa !! that was plastic surgery I know...Ure a burgular...Youve come here to steal gifts i know,you were stealing my pen set..
He shouted out loudly..."Burglar !! Burglar !! He's taking ma pen set and ma chocolates !!"...and started kickin at me wildly...
All the 50 3-footed rascals pounced on me and started beating me up...Peezee,her friends,and HC were laughin their brainz out...
I was thrown on the ground,stammered and beaten by a set of wild swines...*beep beep*..oh a message..was frm apoorva...i did wanna talk...but unfortunately cuddant..fought ma way typin sumthin...continued being beaten up...and till the point they tore off the santa dress thing..(thank god it was second hand,and me being ME,wore ma clothes under it !!!!!)

So 10 more minutes of being beaten up...
Den Peezee got the terrorists off me !!
I stole another 3-4 snickers frm sum kids and gave it to HC,and now she needed a whole big plastic bag to fill in all those gifts...
she was like.."U look better in blue than in pink..."..
uRGHH..AS if i go around wearing that second hand pink santa thing everyday..!!
Talked for 15 more minutes,fixed ma ice cream date...ma purpose was solved !!
I was a successful Santa,finally !!

I seriosuly donno how to end this post...
Ya..Jingle Bells..

Jingle bells Jingle bells...ee-aye-ee-aye-oooooo...
and santa claus had sum reindeer...ee-aye-ee-aye-oooo...
with a jingle bell here...and a jingle bell there...
jungle here jingle there..jingle jingle everywhere..
ee-aye-ee-aye-oooo

urhhh...((( was that ol' mc donald had a farm ?? )))WADEVA !!!